When I was 13 years old I made a decision in my life that I never wanted to be in the ministry because of my experiences as a pastors kid and because of what I saw my parents go through as pastors.
Being a PK can be a bit rough at times…. There are sacrifices to be made that you don’t have a choice about, expectations placed on you because of the position your parents are in, other children pay out on you because your parents are pastors… and it goes on.
So when I was a little bit older, but not too much wiser, I began to get a desire to preach. This desire was obviously from God because in the natural that was the last thing that I ever wanted to do so I hid that desire and pushed it deep down and ignored it. I didn’t want to face it because my fears and insecurities were taking a higher place than the call of God on my life. I knew that I had a call of God on my life to preach and to be an influence to others but I thought there were others who could do a better job than me… people who were more experienced and not petrified of getting up and speaking in front of others.
About six months ago though, I made another decision… a decision that was difficult for me to make and it took a very long time but I decided to let go and let God… whatever God was asking me to do, I was going to do it.
Today I had the awesome privilege of preaching at Girls Church…. I stepped out… and even though I did feel quite nervous I left behind all of my fears and insecurities in doing so. I honoured God by doing what he had been asking me to do for such a long time.
I also feel very honoured but quite overwhelmed that God would use someone like me to speak into the lives of others. I also have a great sense of relief at having overcome one of my greatest fears and I thank God that He was with me every step of the way.
You know, it is amazing what God will do when we just give up and let him have complete control of every part of our lives.
2 Timothy 2:20-21
But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honour and some for dishonour. Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honour, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.
This last weekend my husband and I celebrated ten wonderful years of marriage. As we were driving on our way out to dinner I commented on how I felt so blessed that we had such an awesome marriage when we live in such a 'disposable' world with a divorce rate that is unbelievably high and many couples not even making it passed five years yet alone ten.
Some people treat marriage as lightly as the piece of paper that their certficate is printed on but to us marriage is a whole lot more than that piece of paper... it is a life-long commitment to the one we have chose 'til death do us part'.
From the very beginning of our relationship we chose to place God at the centre and I have no doubt that it has made all the difference.
I am more in love with my husband today than the day we married and everyday that love grows deeper as our relationship grows. Love isn't just a feeling of butterflies in your stomach, or a weak feeling in your knees, love is a choice we make everyday no matter what we are feeling and regardless of circumstances. Although, I am very glad to say that I often still get that gushing feeling when I see my husband even after ten years!
As we were reflecting on the last ten years over dinner and reminescing about all the fun times we have had together we started to wonder about what the next ten years would bring, where will we be and what will we be doing after another decade? I'm certain that we will see many more dreams fulfilled and enough memories created to write a book!
It's the memories we create together that make them the best.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
The past two to three weeks have been very busy for me with friends and family getting married, having babies and baby showers, celebrating birthdays, etc.. lots of good things to rejoice about and wonderful excuses for a party!
Last night as I was busy putting together and wrapping a couple of pressies for two of these momentous occassions I was thinking about how much joy I get out of giving people presents. For me, with my love language of 'gifts' it is almost as good as, and if not better than, actually receiving a gift for myself. I do love to receive gifts and I am very happy and extremely blessed to have a wonderful husband who is thoughtful and generous in his gift giving but I absolutely love to see the expression on someone else's face as they open a present which the totally adore... especially if it is the one I have given them!
But a feel a tinge of sadness for many of those in the society in which we live... a people and a generation who are so caught up with self and focussed on get, get, get, and more, more, more... don't want to miss out attitudes... gotta have the latest craze. They do not know or understand the great blessing that it is to give to others... they don't understand the proverb 'it is more blessed to give than to receive'... they don't understand that what they sow they will reap.
As a Christian I believe it is so much more important for me be understand the principles of giving and being a generous person. God has given us the greatest gift of all in His only Son, Jesus. He gave His Son so that we might have life, and life more abundantly. The only thing that I need to do in return is surrender my whole life into His hands.
It seems so very simple and nothing compared to what we have already received... eternal life... and yet with society thrusting that 'keep up with the Jones' mentality down our necks, it sometimes takes everything inside of us to stand up for what we really believe in. Instead we try to hold onto parts of our lives as tight as we can so that we can maybe still 'look good' in the eyes of society. However, if we do take the risk of giving our whole entire lives to Him to do His will, we would probably be extremely amazed at what God will again give us in return.... even though He has already given us so much.
