This morning I was sitting on the floor enjoying playing with my gorgeous little bubba and then I watched him as he rolled and rolled around the floor on the carpet until he glimpsed my cat's paw temptingly dangling over the edge of the lounge chair. He suddenly stopped rolling and stayed on his tummy, straining his head up as high as he could to try and look up and see the cat. I could just imagine what he might have been thinking as he kept on looking and stretching up on his hands as much as possible... 'if only I could get up there'... 'if only I could reach up that high'
Right at this point in my life, I know that is what I have been thinking and I'm sure you know what I am talking about. We all know what we would like for our lives... we all have many dreams and desires that seem 'just' out of reach and we think 'if only I could get there'... 'if only I could have that'...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having those dreams but just like my bubba who obviously has a few stages of development to go through before he can climb up onto that lounge chair to harrass the cat, perhaps God needs to develop and grow us before we can achieve some of our goals and desires.
Perhaps because if we had a million dollars right now we would squander it becuase we haven't yet learnt how to be completely diligent with the thousands that we already have... or if God allowed us to have that position of authority too early we might become a bit proud because we haven't quite grasped that humble attitude He is looking for.
Whatever our dream is and whatever God is doing in our lives takes time... time to build character, time to bring change, time to make us stronger.
I know without a shadow of doubt that one day my boy will be chasing the cat around the entire house but for now he has to just enjoy watching as he goes through a few more growth spurts and as the saying goes... "We need to learn to walk before we can run!"
"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears"
Philippians 1:6
The last few months I have been on a bit of a journey... unfortunately it hasn't always been much of a pleasurable experience... one of those journeys that at times you wish you hadn't embarked on... not at all like a lovely relaxing holiday but sometimes we just don't have much of a choice either!
It has definately had a lot of ups and downs and looking back over those few months... even though it was extremely tough at times and in some areas it still is... I must say that I am thankful to have survived this far!
It started out as one of the most joyous moments of my life... up there on that mountain top... I had just had our first baby after trying for over five years. However, after a few months I began to feel not quite myself and had to come to the conclusion that post natal anxiety truly was a real thing in my life. I never would have expected that after such a long time waiting to have a baby that I would be one who would experience this... but I was. It was certainly a time of testing in mnay areas of my life. I loved my little boy with all of my heart... there is no other love quite like it... and I didn't understand why God would allow this to happen to me. All I really wanted was to be able to enjoy my boy... be happy... and not stress so much... surely that wasn't too much to ask!
Apart from the anxiety, my faith was also being tested in other areas as well and to this day it still is in some ways.
I was reading something yesterday which I wished I had read about four or five months ago...
"Even though I walk through the valley..."
It does say 'walk through' doesn't it?? That must mean that this isn't the end of my journey... it's not my final destination... I must keep on walking and not camp out in the valley. There have definately been itmes when it might have been very tempting to find a nice relaxing resort and just hang out there for the rest of my life, give up and forget about everything... except my little boy of course... but God wants me and you to keep on going cause while we are 'walking through' our valley, He is doing an amazing work in our lives. It may seem like it will never end but it will... when God is finished with us... finished doing the refining that we need to go to the next level.
I don't know about you but I want to get to the end of my valley and not have to go through it again because I tried to take the easy way. So, I'm just going to hang onto God as tight as I can and trust inHim until I reach that next mountain top. I also think that perhaps the resorts up there might be a whole lot better anyway!!
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose"
Romans 8:28
There was a time in my life, which when I think about it actually wasn't that long ago, when reading the Bible, the inspired Word of God always seemed like it was such a chore, like it was just hard work and would never really get much out of it. Occassionally I would pick up a revelation but most of the time I was doing it because I felt that I had to.
I could spend ages listening to worship music and just being before God in His presence and worshipping Him but as soon as I picked up the Bible it seemed to become boring... reading the Bible was such an effort for me.
I don't know if anyone else feels like this sometimes... or is it just me??
I would try to make it enjoyable with a nice hot cuppa or lighting some candles and it would help to make me feel good but I still wasn't really getting much out of it.
However, during the past year or so, I seriously haven't been able to live without God's Word in my life every single day. I don't know what changed or how it changed or what I did... perhaps it is just that I feel like I have more time and I don't need to rush... or that I pushed through without giving up... whatever it is, it is GOOD!!
I read something in the notes section of my Bible today which really spoke to me about how important God's Word is for our lives...
The Word of God will light your way;
it will help you make right choices;
it will heal your wounds and settle your heart;
it will protect you and cleanse you from sin;
it will lead you;
it will make you wise;
it is bread;
it is water;
it is a counsellor;
it is life;
it is satisfying;
it is sufficient;
it is supreme;
it is supernatural.
How absolutely amazing is the Word of God!! It is everything that we need for whatever path we are on in life... wherever we are at... whatever we are doing... God's Word is all that we ever need.
Psalm 119:162
"I rejoice at your Word as one who finds great treasure".
"I can't get no... satisfaction... and I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried... I can't get NO (do, do, do).... No, no, no!"
Now that I got you singing... haha!
As most of you probably know me quite well, you will know that I am someone who likes to set goals for my personal life and I have lots of dreams and visions. Every year my husband and I sit down and write out our goals for that coming year and the next five, ten, and fifty years... and then we revisit them every once in a while to make sure we are on track, etc.
Well, unfortunately, I have a dream which just doesn't seem to want to come to pass right now and it has been quite a few years of dreaming and praying and waiting... lots of waiting (sigh). I also have a few other desires which in themselves seems quite big and impossible from where I am sitting right now but I know that God is a God of the impossible!
However, just the last few days God has been speaking to me about being satisfied with where I am at right now and being satisfied in Him. Sometimes when I have a dream or a goal I become quite focussed on achieving it that I am looking so far ahead of myself and not enjoying what I am currently doing or where I am at in life right now.
Proverbs 19:23 'The fear of the Lord leads to life and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil.'
Now, I'm not about to say that we shouldn't have goals because without any vision or purpose we will perish but perhaps my focus needs to change just slightly so that I am putting God first in every part of my life and I am not becoming distracted from Him with my own dreams and desires. Not that my dreams and desires are not of God... because I know that they are... they are good Godly desires but He needs to be my first focus and not my dream.
In Psalm 95:6-11 it talks about the Israelites in the wilderness after they had been set free from Egypt and they were being distracted by other things around them instead of focussing on what God was giving them right then and there. God was supplying every need for them... they should have been satisfied but they kept thinking about their past and their own desires. Because of this God said that they would not enter His rest... they would not be satisfied.
Psalm 106:13-15 'They soon forgot His works; They did not wait for His counsel, But lusted exceedingly in the wilderness And tested God in the desert. And He gave them their request, But sent leanness into their soul.'
Again it is talking about the Israelites in the wilderness and how even after God had done so much for them up until that point... like feeding them manner from Heaven, giving them water out of a rock, killing the Egyptians at the Red Sea... But still they kept forgetting about those amazing things that God had done and was doing for them and were distracted by what they wanted NOW! They 'lusted exceedingly' and God ended up giving them their request. BUT they were still dissatisfied... they had leanness in their souls!
Unless we put God first in everything that we do... in everything that we desire... in everything that we dream about... even though those dreams and goals my come to pass... we may not feel completely satisfied... we will not be completely fulfilled. Our satisfaction needs to be in God and not in fulfilling our own dreams and desires, even if those dreams and desires are good.
God wants us to live an abundant and fulfilled life and the only way we can do that is by putting Him first... letting Him become our complete satisfaction.
If we never achieved anything else in life... never got given anything else that we wanted... never had any more dreams come to pass... would we feel completely satisfied?
Something very challenging for me to think about.... what about you?
